Er, Too Much Coverage?

When botany and advertising collide.  Here we have the latest from AT&T.
The advertisement description’s in quotes.

“We open on an urban setting and see a vine begin to grow up a

What kind of vine?? It looks like a mutant clematis, though the leaf arrangement’s wrong, and there are no orange large-flowered ones. Oh well, let’s not be picky. At least it’s some kind of ornamental plant. We’ll call it Clematis broadbandii. Definitely non-native, though.

“From there, we see various landscapes being covered with
similar vines.”

What the…well, I guess the overpass does look better. And the city’s doing a great job keeping it out of the road.

“As the seedlings grow, they sprout brilliant orange
flowers, covering the cities, towns, and countryside’s in a spectacular
orange hue.”

Honey, drive faster. This neighborhood gives me the creeps.

This is ridiculous… I’m calling Linda Chalker-Scott! Or maybe Jeff Gillman, for a fair and balanced herbicide recommendation; or maybe Bert Cregg could suggest how to cut it back. Holly Scoggins is a flake; she’d just tuck Bounce sheets everywhere...

“Coverage is a beautiful thing. AT&T covers 97% of all Americans.”

Dear AT&T: the National Invasive Species Council will be in touch. Unless their call gets dropped.

13 thoughts on “Er, Too Much Coverage?”

  1. Something looked familiar about that last picture. Then, I remembered that the space needle was originally painted orange back in the sixties.

  2. You know, I was waiting for this commercial to be mentioned here…
    What a lovely mutant Kudzu/Clematis vine, right? Perfect for everyone as it grows in ALL zones!

  3. OMG – I saw this ad & wondered how fast the gardening blogs would take to put in their two-cents’. I actually cringed.

    What they don’t tell you is the inability of Clematis broadbandii to sustain this level of coverage. Sure it looks great right now as you walk out of the store/nursery with it. But within days you’ll wonder “Why is it growing everywhere but the ONE place I need it to ? And what’s with it looking lovely one second, but the next it’s dropping calls, er, leaves left & right ?”

    Can you tell I’m an AT&T customer ? Though not for too much longer …

  4. ROFLOL I love the commercial and love your take on it. Some creative genius at the ad agency should get a nice bonus for this one. Although it’s so blatantly bad horticulturally speaking, it’s definitely one that sticks in your mind, the goal of all advertising!

  5. LOL! It looks like a scene from Planet of the Apes. Though, “seriously,” now: don’t you think the Space Needle has a certain elan festooned with _Clematis broadbandii_?

    Very clever. Thanks for the laugh.

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